Offline. A good kind of selfish.

If we were consistently social, we’d never get anything done and we’d resent our friends.

Being offline gives us the time we require to reflect on ourselves in a meaningful way; to focus on our own projects, our health.

We’re not distracted or socially obliged. It becomes easier to say ‘no’ and we thank ourselves for it. It’s a good kind of selfish.

I’m gay

And tonight, to coincide with my birthday, I’m celebrating with friends over Rainbow Cake. It’s the Elton John of cakes, complete with rainbow flares.

As a child I always knew I was gay, but somewhere the feeling got lost. A long and, not always scenic, route ensued to bring me back to who I truly am.

What I needed was to find my tribe. I wasn’t actively seeking it, though sometime last year I met a group of women that I could truly connect to. I could see myself in them in many ways. And they are women of character who I aspire to. Most importantly, they are women that are generous and kind. For the first time in my life I came to the full realisation of who I am and I felt safe in their company. They bolstered my confidence and gave me my voice again. And I love them eternally for it.

Thankfully my tribe has now extended to my family and friends that I’ve had the confidence to come out to. We’ve created noise, a celebratory noise. We’ve drowned out the negativity that sadly weaves through many homes, communities, governments and countries throughout the world.

In life, philosophy and literature imparts one of the greatest lessons we continuously come back to, and that is to know thyself. For those reading this who are LGBT and haven’t come out – even when society may not deem you equal because of your sexuality – know that you are. And just like in my situation, know that there are people in the world that have your back.

Some may be asking “Why does she feel the need to write this?”. The answer is that there is nothing I’m leveraging off or deliberately seeking. This simply feels like the right and natural way to let it be known, sincerely.

As black as my skin, as Chinese as my blood, and as Australian and British are my nationalities, I’m also a proud Gay Woman. 

Most importantly though, I’m a happy human being. 

Love,

Faustina Agolley

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When we revere people

We can undo ourselves in many ways when we revere others. We look to and talk to their status rather to them as a person. We also become less discerning. We’re blinded with admiration.

The common types of people we hold high – leaders, CEOs, layers, doctors, directors, athletes and artists are not without their shadows.

Self-Love

Self love – a topic that’s quite “fru-fru” – my made up word for mushy, sensitive –  yet a necessary topic because it’s a vital part of living.

Self love is thinking and feeling for yourself. You’re in charge of your well being and happiness.

It’s understanding your constitution before someone dictates it for you. It’s filling yourself up with the things that are right for you rather than looking to others to fill that space.

It’s getting back to the very ideas of what makes you excited about living. It’s knowing your likes and dislikes, your interests, what you’re curious about. It’s having confidence in yourself and self worth. Coincidently this is likely where you become more compassionate and empathetic to new ideas and to others.

How is it done in practice? Its going inwards and knowing yourself. You cut out the noise of daily life. Practices like meditation or mindful time alone are superb ways to achieve this.

Then it’s being vocal about it. Your inner dialogue shapes your behaviour. You’re then aware that you have choices every moment rather than feeling you’re largely shaped by the day’s events – good or bad.